I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Some of it has been very good, some of it hard to swallow. Among a pile of observations comes the one that gives me the most grief, it is that as of late I am indeed my own achilles heel. I have this awful tendency to talk myself out of things before I even get started. I suspect it is why I am reading books 1 & 2 listed in my right side bar. It's also probably why my dad used to tell me when I was a little girl to "put can't behind the door and do it". I didn't like it very much when he would say that to me, mostly because I didn't understand how to go forward. I'm still working on it btw.
It is here where I sigh and say "why couldn't I be a first born with all their illusions of grandeur, they seem unstoppable". In the pecking order in my growing up years I am the last of 13, yes I said 13! The baby of the family, my mum still introduces me that way on occasion. Umm, no mum, not much a baby anymore but nice try. I love her still for thinking of me that way.
I married a first born, boy oh boy is he an overachiever. I suppose that is why we make a good pair. He honestly believes there is nothing he can't do, I believe that about him as well. He ran a major youth movement in his teens, put out a CD, wrote a book, jumpstarted a new career after a major life shift in his 30's, and all that before he turned 40! His resume is kinda intimidating and yet I still get to tell him to clean the toilets and put the garbage out...yes!!
But seriously though, all this has me thinking that life is too short to wait for the stars to align and for all my ducks to line up in a row in order to do some of the things I'd love to do. You see I'm never in a rush, I have an over abundance of patience and don't thrill from the stress of deadlines, but sometimes you just gotta get a move on. In the spirit of carpe diem and NOW, I have re-opened my etsy shop. I've filled it with vintage (sheet) treasures as well as some handmade goodness and have a ton more stuff to add. I realize that I most happy when I create and make things. I'm most drawn to my kids when I do the things that energize me. It's something that has been on very short supply for me for the past year (creating & energy) and I am only one who can rectify the situation.
I'll be re-examined my priorities over the next few months and arranging my schedule to provide me with a regular time for making, in addition to the homeschooling. At the very least it is a change, and I'm long overdue for the pot to be stirred. Go over and take a peek at the shop and support this handmade mumma if you feel so inclined.